my lovely niece

how i miss her so much right now...

WiSH foR ThiS DaY

Another year has gone by,
a new chapter in my life
is about to open now.
no candle light,
no decorative cake,
no beautiful gifts
no mother’s kisses
but lots of wishes
lots of attention
by people surround me
Another year has gone by,
I’m still preparing my life
sitting and wondering
in this solitary mind of mine
So many mistakes I have made
So many corretions I must show
Another year is awaiting
Wish I could be someone
to be proud of
Wish I could make something
useful in life
I wish myself a happy new day

FoR tHiS...

This feeling…
Somebody tell me
what could this be..
The feeling that always mesmerize me
It’s not just emotion
yet it is enfolding with confident and affection
A heart that miles apart away
but it is chiseled in me
Wanting to reach out for you
so close, and I know you’re wanting too
Craving to be in your arms,
be held so tight
Longing to be with you
here and together unremittingly
But knowing I can’t, it’s tormented me
For this…
This is forbidden love enthralls me

tRutH

Truth…
Fact….
Reality…
Although it’s shocked
but we know it’s true
Although it hurts
but we know it’s real

bETrayAL

Betrayal..
It hurts when we get a betrayal in life. But aren’t we being able to do so?
Once my friend told me that his girlfriend is about to betray him. He told me that it hurts him so bad. Well, what can I say .I’m not that expert to give him any advices. Somehow, his girl acts normally in front of him. I cannot give him anything as a subject for advice.
Well, if someone doing that way is it just for fun, looking for something cannot be found in the relationship, or is it because of the jaded relationship? Or maybe none of the reasons I gave above? And the reasons I gave are for denial of doing something or are just to secure our self of doing something? Do we have someone to blame?
Well my friend, I’m sorry I cannot give you any advices on problem you told me so. I can only be a garbage basket for the problem you have. I can only hear, listen to every word you said about your girl betrayal but I cannot give any solutions on it. I’m really sorry for that, my friend…

I looked into the mirror
just found someone inside
someone who’s alike me
a sweet sugary layered girl
overly colored..
too much…
sickening…
disgusting…
But then the mirror is broken
I caught my self in the broken mirror
I cannot escape..
I cry for help,
I shout out loud..
Nobody hears
Nobody listens
And I sunk
Suddenly…
Deep down inside the mirror
Deeper,
deeper,
and deeper..

DiRtY dOugH

I don’t live in paradise
and neither in hell
I live in a place
where death and life is
kind of blur to be seen
Stop having a sympathize for me
coz I don’t require for it
Just boil a water, then
put your head onto it
so you can get your brain washed

I’m sick of this distinguish
There’s such a great great border
stands surround me
It’s a very thick layer border
in every side of me
I can’t walk
I can’t even move
Nor I can’t breathe
These walls are locking me tightly
When I saw it falls apart,
then I should be die
Die with no dignity
Die with no pride

It feels like great dirty dough
scrambled and thrown onto your face
It feels like a megaton of nuclear bomb
blasted in your heart
It hurts
It terribly hurts
For now I’m being someone
I don’t really recognize…!!!!!!!!!

vulnerable…
tend to fly..
difficult to understand..
but it’s true..

An ant, that little tiny creature is familiar to be seen. Sometimes it looks so ditty but sometimes it can be very harmful..
Small but dicey…

DifFerEntLy

One day my friend told me about "C"
but then my friend doing the "B"
One day my friend said the "A"
but then I saw the "D"
One day my friend asked about "F"
but then again I look the "G"

Acting differently....
why doing so?
Doing the opposite,
no need a clarification.

It is sad to think
that someone close to you
is doing that way

It is bad to know
that someone close to you
is hiding something
at the back of you

But when you do the same way
as your friend did to you
what do you feel then?

Truth..
Somewhat is very difficult
to be said
to be done

It's very hard to tell
what lies beneath
Even it laid on the edge
you have difficulty
to speak it
out loud..
to express it
clearly...

So must we keep the truth
lock in tight, undone....???

Nice Quote

When I rise, let me rise joyful, like a bird.
When I fall, let me fall without regret, like a leaf.
(Wendell Berry)